Sitting and Thinking

So, yesterday I teased that I had other news that was too big to just tack on the bottom of that post.

It wasn’t really a sweeps week “to be continued” type of tease. I just have all this shit on my mind, but my mind hasn’t finished chewing on it yet. I know some of what it means, but I don’t know all of what it means.

So, here you get a little glimpse into my life, mid thought process.

I am typing this while sitting at the dining room table. At my feet, Indy is asleep. This is usual. She is asleep at my feet a large portion of the time that I am on my computer.

Far less usual, and quite unexpectedly, there is a puppy asleep at my feet too.

Webster.

Webster is back. For reasons which are totally understandable, and I agree with and support, but are not my reasons to tell. The family who had hoped to adopt Webster, has decided it isn’t what is best for him. He was with them for a week and they all had a wonderful time, but they came to a very difficult decision. They are doing what they think is best for the dog, which I totally respect.

He left on a Sunday, and came back on the following Sunday. They were willing to foster him, but I wanted him back. I put this much in. I’d like to see it through to all three orphans finding their forever homes.

It is time to figure out what “I might have wanted to keep him” means, now that it is an option.

I am certain there are other families out there who would love him just as much as we do. I am certain there are no other families out there who would love him more. I knew both of those things about Bear too. There is more to it than that, as I so difficultly had to stand by when letting Bear leave. I must ask myself, “Is there somebody that is better for him due to practical life circumstances?” and “How exactly does he impact the lives of the pets we are already committed to?” Most of all, I need to make sure that I don’t let the pangs of regret I feel for “having” to let Bear go, allow me to lie to myself about these answers. It would be easy to trick myself, just so that I can avoid a difficult goodbye.

That is where I am at today, with a puppy curled up at my feet, right next to Indy.

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  1. #1 by Michele @ Mom Teaching Two on March 22, 2011 - 8:24 AM

    On a totally selfish level… this means more puppy pictures right?

    What a difficult decision to make.

    • #2 by mstori on March 22, 2011 - 8:37 AM

      There is video at least.

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